The Great War?

Why named The Great War?
Was it so damned great for some
We had a second?

Or do you prefer,

Why named The Great War?
Was it so damned great for some
They've made a series?


Mistaken Identity

Steven Moffat
And his black and white cat.
Oops! Wrong franchise;
Though he delivers a packet each time the Doctor dies.



The Common Touché

Les Miserables
Traveled oft by marsh-gas dirigibles.
He weren't offended by the stench
But by them what thought his name were French.



How'll future archaeologists
Fill our lacunae?

or do you prefer

Archaeologists dig
To fill the past's lacunae.
So put the spoil where?


Sung in vivo

Sudden Opera
It's not over until the
Pregnant ladies sing

On being speedily invited to the English Touring Opera's performance of the Coronation of Poppea at the Theatre Royal, Bath... I wonder what it's like for a young foetus when your mum-to-be spends her evenings singing, as did the artists playing Poppea and Drusilla in last night's excellent performance.


Alas an alias?

Engelbert Rodrigo
Has to be an alias, bro!
The French Foreign Legion requires a nom de guerre;
The Danish merchant navy a nom en mer?


It never reigns but it paws

Flavius Belisarius
Had every reason to cuss;
Blinded, cuckolded, footsore; stripped of his triumphal palms.
And now a sodding tin denarius passed in his alms!


It's a Dog's life

Old man in a pub
A pint and a newspaper
His dog at his feet

or do you prefer

Dog marks time's passing
A pint and a bluespaper
Old man in a pub


Craig's List

Daniel Craig's list
Of things Bond does when pissed
Fascinated spies,
And sparked a run on mince pies...



Enemies can't hurt you like friends can (3)

Should you balance your
Need to forgive with your wish
To first get them back?

or do you prefer

Should you balance your
Wish to forgive with your need
to protect your heart?


Are those Russian Dolls simulated?

Were CosmoSim proved
Greatest pain 'twould be knowing
Our love is a sham

or do you prefer

Were CosmoSim proved
Greatest pain 'twould be your pain
Is as real as mine


Why The Smaug Face?

Benedict Cumberbatch
Is a danger around thatch.
Playing a dragon, What's On foretold,
Means he'll now blow hot as well as cold.


Frackingstein's Monster

Poor Francis Egan,
So conflicted, to weep he began.
With fangs drilled into the body politic, is he Count Fracula?
Or sire to an earth-shaking monster named Cuadzilla?

Or do you prefer

Poor Francis Egan
Conflicted, to weep he began.
Fangs sunk in the body politic; is he Count Fracula?
Or sire to an earth-quaking monster, Cuadzilla?


Diarised entry

Bram Stoker
Thought the pen mightier than the poker
And the phonograph and the typewriter
When challenging an Undead biter



Democratic Deaficit

Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, 
The Misunderstanding Man, 
Suppressed dissent as only an elected tyrant can. 
He met his match in the Standing Man.



Alison Morton
Thought Matriarchy more fun.
Dandied Latin lovers leave her unimpressed.
But "Ave, audaculus!" the lover of Latin (even in his vest).



Liz Fenwick
Plotted so assiduously she felt sick:
A Cornish Dalliance; A Cornish Pasty,
And of course, A Cornish Cream Tea.


24 Hours from Topsham...

Topsham's a patch far
To go for motor justice
Unless you've a car

On being informed Devon & Cornwall Police act robustly to protect the safety and rights of pedestrians on the roads...



Liz Harris, Author,
Never shudda oughta 
Ridden that bucking bronco in Kansas 
And tumbled onto her beloved prairie grass


The Joy of Escalation

Did the French have the right idea: 

Esprit d'escalier 
Posher yet less pithy than 
English staircase wit 

or should they have coined:

Esprit d'escargot 
French snails' banter beats British 
Bulldogs' staircase wit 


Alimentary, My Dear Watson...

Inspired by this news report. Which do you prefer?

Curried pubic hair
Court gaols short curly fraudster
Serves thyme in kitchen?


Pubic hair Balti
Fraudster hoist by own petard
Tinted brown not black.


True to her art

Marlene Moon
glides selenely through the eye of the typhoon. 
The Silent Movie Star mimes and pouts, 
Never speaking at Gatsby's great blow-outs.


Hiraeth rygbi

Gareth Edwards 
Faced five formidable French forwards.
Welsh fans roared;
"Has the little man scored?"


On mispronouncing Jolie...

Angelina Jolie 
Bought a strangely sedentary border cauli 
From Lara, a crofter she met on a movie. 
At heading sheep, 'twas worse than a Koolie...


Chelsea Tee

Fernando Torres,
Marked Masked Man, says
"Swish, Slash!
You're now a Marked Man too - easy cash."


"Movie Magic" -- Cdr Bond RN GSOH

My name's Bond, James Bond.
I've no need of Potter's little wand,
Or Gandalf's gnarled knobbly staff;
Raise my kilt, and a Girl's got to laugh.


Love is...

Love is as love does
Live long and hale my darling
Choose your man wisely



Gr8 Eggspecashuns

Walworthian Wemmick
Mr Jaggers's wooden-faced side-kick:
"Don't invest portable property in a friend.
Unless you want that friendship to end."


One Thing and another...

Thing One and Thing Two;
Scary starey eyes and hair that is blue.
Two twin things dressed the same just for fun;
Luckily labelled Thing Two and Thing One.

Inspired by this (presumably an homage to Dr. Seuss).

Introspective retrospective

Those women I've loved
Needs for children, love unmet
No parsnips buttered




On seeing Spielberg's Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln
abolished Slavery for one
and for an encore
met at the theatre a dreadful bore

or do you prefer

Abraham Lincoln
ended Slavery's despicable run
To him the 13th owed its genesis
but the 2nd proved his nemesis