Mare Mia

The Man In The Moon
Would like to spoon
With the crescent Venus
When he's waxing gibbous.

Or do you prefer

The Man In The Moon
Thinks fair Venus will swoon
When she sees him gibbous
and so very libidinous.


Fulminate on Mercury

Was sure Hg smells
And his Martians' heat-rays, er,
Foreshadowed the phaser.

credit: National Portrait Gallery

or do you prefer

Wrote of heat-rays not spells.
Though a badly calibrated Time Machine meant
He lived in but never played Mornington Crescent.

By Sunil060902 - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, 


"76 Million Words Of Pure Filth"

Enid Blyton
Her imagination took flight on
Conversations on paw and hoof
Often ending with a "woof!"

Inspired by authorial word frequency research by Ben Blatt
Sunday Times, pg 8, 5 March 2017


Satiation in Sutton

"Who ate all the pies?"
The rolly-polly goalie
Prefers a pasty

credit: BBC

Or do you prefer

Wayne Shaw
Thought it a bit raw.
Not his dugout pasty,
But the FA turning nasty.


Plea Bargaining

If, Rudyard Kipling,...
If you'd been a poetic stripling...
If of early parole we'd had pretence...
If you'd passed a shorter periodic sentence.

By Unknown - Rudyard Kipling von John Palmer, Public Domain,



Humpty Dumpty sat on his great wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a yuge great fall.
He instructed Jeff Sessions,
Huffily, to sue the Mexicans.


Being Kitty Smart

Christopher Smart.
Criss-crossing his heart,
Christian tropes expressed so pitiably
Crisply told how he loved Jeoffrey


Daze of Wine and Roses

He wrote poetry like a heady potion,
Did Ernest Dowson.
It was no cure for melancholy or sepsis;
His technique was in fact prolepsis.

Ernest Dowson (1867 – 1900)