27.4.17

17.4.17

May the Running Commence

Doctor Who
As a companion never took a Shih Tzu.
He thought its paws
too tiny for running down corridors.


credit: Melanie Dullinger

or might you prefer

Doctor Who
In his TARDIS had room for a zoo.
But felt morally conflicted
If not temporally afflicted.


credit: BBC

or perhaps even

Doctor Who
To a Dalek said "Noooo;
Me you cannae exterminate
For a wee new Who will germinate."


credit: BBC

1.4.17

And All The People Cried "Re-joist"

Zadok the priest
Told a blue joke at the feast,
Bringing the roof down, and revealing
To Nathan "the profit is in the re-ceiling."

or should it be

Zadok the priest
Told a blue joke at the coronation feast,
Bringing the roof down, and revealing
To Nathan "the profit is in the re-sealing."


30.3.17

White Man's Burden

Carruthers
Got heartily sick of of those brothers
Murmuring "too damned quiet, what?"
Before it all got way too hot.


credit: Paramount

Or perhaps

Carruthers
Got thoroughly sick of those others
Who "it's too damned quiet" would confess
Just as the natives grew restless.


credit: Paramoun

Or might you prefer

Carruthers
Was decidely sick of those mothers
And the occasional chinless toff
Mouthing "too damned quiet" before it all kicked off.


credit: Rank


29.3.17

Brexit Day

Searching the wardrobe
What to wear when brexiting?
Article Fifty?


or, perhaps,


Queen Theresa the First,
For unconstrained power had a thirst.
One Union she called her "Precious";
Of t'other she refused to make a fuss.


or, mayhap,


Pride unwarranted
Sticking to a timetable
To shoot your own foot


or, indeed,


Her Mayesty
What sayest thee?
When the Madness of Queen Theresa
Infects the average geezer.






23.3.17

Mare Mia

The Man In The Moon
Would like to spoon
With the crescent Venus
When he's waxing gibbous.


Or do you prefer


The Man In The Moon
Thinks fair Venus will swoon
When she sees him gibbous
and so very libidinous.



8.3.17

Fulminate on Mercury

H.G.Wells
Was sure Hg smells
And his Martians' heat-rays, er,
Foreshadowed the phaser.


credit: National Portrait Gallery

or do you prefer

H.G.Wells
Wrote of heat-rays not spells.
Though a badly calibrated Time Machine meant
He lived in but never played Mornington Crescent.


By Sunil060902 - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, 
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=4439598


6.3.17

"76 Million Words Of Pure Filth"

Enid Blyton
Her imagination took flight on
Conversations on paw and hoof
Often ending with a "woof!"

Inspired by authorial word frequency research by Ben Blatt
Sunday Times, pg 8, 5 March 2017