The Joy of Escalation

Did the French have the right idea: 

Esprit d'escalier 
Posher yet less pithy than 
English staircase wit 

or should they have coined:

Esprit d'escargot 
French snails' banter beats British 
Bulldogs' staircase wit 


Alimentary, My Dear Watson...

Inspired by this news report. Which do you prefer?

Curried pubic hair
Court gaols short curly fraudster
Serves thyme in kitchen?


Pubic hair Balti
Fraudster hoist by own petard
Tinted brown not black.


True to her art

Marlene Moon
glides selenely through the eye of the typhoon. 
The Silent Movie Star mimes and pouts, 
Never speaking at Gatsby's great blow-outs.