November First, 2018

Such an empty peace
A face no longer mobile
Love's anchor cast off

Mair James


Gladdens Hewers of Cleries Everywhere

Could Danny Finkelstein
Be more pleased than Clerihewers he met a Dinkeldein?
Unless Jon were instead a Manny,
It couldn't have been more uncanny.



Theresa May,
May I say,
Nowhere does it require in Erskine May
The PM answer every Q with "Can I say..."

credit: PA


Our Pigmy Foreign Secretary

Jeremy Hunt
Managed only a four letter 'RUNT'
Playing Conservative Conference Countdown.
EU 'UNITY' never occurred to the clown.


Hardened Art Series

Don't go feeling sorry for Katie Hopkins;
She's not yet having to root through the bins.
And if she can't face the Schadenfreude,
She shouldn't be such a Scheißschleuder.



Metronomically Mephistophelian

Modest Mussorgsky.
No shrinking violet he.
Pitchers at an exhibition match, he aimed to please;
Scratchers appreciated his musical fleas.

credit: Ilya Repin


With a Lemon, Make Lemonade

McArthur Wheeler's
Not one of the Pittsburgh Wheeler-Dealers.
The career of this bank-robbing thug
Turned as sour as his lemon-soaked mug.

By Elena Chochkova [CC BY-SA 4.0] 



Athelstan Joseph Michael Eavis.
He conceived this:
'A fallow season,' he blurts,
'Gives next year a better crop of yurts.'

Credit: Justinc


Applaud Quietly

Mr Ivor Cutler
Sourced his jungle tips from a sutler;
Wrote deadpan verse without rhyme or raisin,
And awkward soft Glaswegian phrasing.

Roger Kohn [CC BY 3.0 
via Wikimedia Commons


Speaker's Cornered

Dominic Grieve,
In again trusting his PM, was touchingly naive.
Meaninglessly he voted against his own clause;
A rebel without applause.


One Year On...

Moved today listening to first-hand and eye-witness accounts of the terrible fire that consumed Grenfell Tower and 72 of its residents. Particularly harrowing were the insights into the initial and ongoing effects on the children of the neighbourhood, especially the impact of the particular nature of the tragedy.

How to tell a child?
Her pre-school friend's still missing
Though she's still at home.



Bring Out Your Dead

Arkady Arkadyevich Babchenko

Tweaked the despot's tail, a tale all men know.
Oh, Ukraine - beware
The Story of the Boy Who Cried Bear!


CLUEDO - NRA Edition

Sophomore Sidney
With the AR-15 in
The School Library

or do you prefer

Always same answer:
Rifleman Ruby; school-hall;
The assault rifle.



The Dickens To Pay

Charles Dickens
Thought there were rich pickings
In merchandising his Pickwick Papers.
He mined whole acres.

Image by Kyd (Joseph Clayton Clarke) (http://www.oldbookart.com/)


'The Big Reveal'

Little Red Riding Hood,
If she'd entered the wood
In an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini...
It'd be a very different tale. Fini!


Chain Smoker

Isambard Kingdom Brunel,
If not chain-smoking felt unwell.
Never without his stovepipe headgear;
Monoxide poisoning his greatest fear.


Mixed Metathors

His moves invoked awe.
Whereas Loki
Mastered nowt but the hokey-cokey.

Or do you prefer

Kept his woad in
Pandora's Box
Along with some odd socks.


Happy 95th

Sharing dementia
Forgetfulness and deafness
An Aged Dailogue

Or do you prefer

Non-verbal being
Deafness and forgetfulness
Aged Ps talking


Name Five Famous Canadians

Miguna Miguna
Kenya's Boris-shaped lacuna
Was he press-ganged to Dubai?
Aye aye.

https://www.the-star.co.ke/news/2018/03/31/what-about-miguna-kot-ask-after-uhuru-scraps-visa-rule-for-mozambicans_c1739095 etc, etc


One Defence Secretary, Former, Disgraced, for the use of

Doctor Liam Fox

Prescribed pulling up their socks

To directors idling with their board

On the golf links more than exporting abroad.


Doctor Liam Fox

Added vegan woks

To the jam and bassoons, if you please,

He’ll export post-Brexit to the Chinese.


Doctor Liam Fox

Doesn’t prescribe from airports and docks.

“Don’t seek substitutes;” (he never tells the House)

“Keep your existing trade.” (he hasn’t the nouse)

Or perhaps you like

Doctor Liam Fox.

Not the sharpest scalpel in the box.

No vetinarian, he

Couldn’t a scapegoat see.


Computer Says 'No'

Professor Stephen Hawking
Let his computer do the talking,
As he revealed secrets of Spacetime most profound
While barred from most stations on the Underground.

Wheelchair access to the Tube in 2015


"Two Tommies"

Thomas George Thomas, First Viscount Tonypandy
Might have thought his legs too bandy.
Yet wearing the Speaker's tights
Gave him no sleepless nights.


"Bury me where I am assassinated"

Petr Arkadevich Stolypin's
Rewards for political sins
Included single tickets for Stolypin Carriages;
His Stolypin Neckties tightened like bad marriages.


Fossil Thoughts

Pressed leaves on the path
Like wee dinosaur footprints 
More ephemeral

credit: Manchester University


Be Careful For What You Wish

Gaius Julius Caesar
Crossed the Rubicon without a visa.
He wanted to be Dictator-for-life;
A wish granted by the assassin's knife.


Sharks and Suffrajets

Emmeline Pankhurst.
Misogyny made her fit to burst.
As too the straitlaced correctness of Suffragists;
Suffragettes ruled out nowt bar their fists.

Credit: Wikipedia

Or do you prefer

Emmeline Pankhurst
Conshies cursed.
Men who'd not fight the Boche
Got white feathers no matter how posh.

Credit: Wikipedia


Laboratory Rat

Such a sense of loss
Of self for a simple tooth
And for eyes limbs mind?

Or perhaps

Can corporal loss
Cause mental disruption too?
Hoarding tendency?


Root Canal

Searching for trousers
Fear-filled hind brain's cunning plan
To avoid dentist

or perhaps

Extraction today.
Ego's response to id's Angst
Is to hide my pants?