Well, owl be damned!

A wise old owl said
"Twit to woo." Romance writers
Tend to disagree.

The Joy of Escalation

Did the French have the right idea: 

Esprit d'escalier 
Posher yet less pithy than 
English staircase wit 

or should they have coined:

Esprit d'escargot 
French snails' banter beats British 
Bulldogs' staircase wit 

How do you get a giraffe in a fridge?

Combine giraffe with 
Toffee and pastry in a
Giraffee Pie. Chill!

Why you never see a shaggy piano

Ice Age Man hunted 
Woolly Pianofortes 
For their ivory

An earlier food adulteration scandal

Sweeney Todd
Flat-footed Runner Plod.
He served Long Pig not the usual Horse;
Pies filled with sweat and sour cook in sauce.

Pub Poster Nostalgia - 2

Edgy modern prose?
"Hoe's Sauce - for dainty dishes."
Or lost innocence?

Pub Poster Nostalgia

"Andrews' Liver Salt"
Strap-line: "A Sound Investment"
What rate of return?

Preferred Martial to Marital Arts

Napoleon Bonaparte 
Caused Europe to be blown apart. 
On affairs of the heart less keen; 
"Not tonight, Josephine."

Alimentary, My Dear Watson...

Inspired by this news report. Which do you prefer?

Curried pubic hair
Court gaols short curly fraudster
Serves thyme in kitchen?

or

Pubic hair Balti
Fraudster hoist by own petard
Tinted brown not black.

True to her art

Marlene Moon
glides selenely through the eye of the typhoon. 
The Silent Movie Star mimes and pouts, 
Never speaking at Gatsby's great blow-outs.

Not to drone on...

Automated War:
"Unexpected item in
body-bagging zone."

The Four Horsemen of the Acropolis

1 - Austerity,
2 - Tax Evasion, 3 - Debt
and 4 - Deficit

Overheard from Overhead (Bridge over Troubled Waters)

Punt on the Avon
A spoiled brat bored by idyll
"I hate peace" he moans

Das Kapital

Talking apes are worse
Selling Law of the Jungle
as Capitalism

The Way We Live Still

Anthony Trollope
of satire, doled out a large dollop
Still so applicable
to every modern asset babble