Felt it was fine
That God didn't play dice,
But why invent mice?
28.12.16
26.12.16
24.12.16
19.12.16
Not having your Cake; not eating it
Sir Francis Drake,
When offered some cake,
Said "I'd rather be bouleing
Than drooling."
When offered some cake,
Said "I'd rather be bouleing
Than drooling."
© National Portrait Gallery, London http://creativecommons.org/
15.12.16
Reprise and Reprisal
Jane Austen
Replied when asked about men
"Fortune and Flatulence:
For the latter, the former's vital recompense."
Replied when asked about men
"Fortune and Flatulence:
For the latter, the former's vital recompense."
Sketch by Cassandra Austen
© National Portrait Gallery, London
11.12.16
"So what's the biggest wall you've knocked down?"
General hubbub
Pretending to understand
Overheard snatches
Pretending to understand
Overheard snatches
7.12.16
2.12.16
Lost First Drafts
Jane Austen
Rejected zombies for men
(Unless they'd an Earldom
And 3,000 guineas per annum).
or do you prefer
Jane Austen
Never mentioned the hymen,
Though she featured the hymnal
Twice in "Pious and Prejudicial".
Rejected zombies for men
(Unless they'd an Earldom
And 3,000 guineas per annum).
or do you prefer
Jane Austen
Never mentioned the hymen,
Though she featured the hymnal
Twice in "Pious and Prejudicial".
Cassandra Austen
© National Portrait Gallery, London
29.11.16
27.11.16
23.11.16
19.11.16
Another Secret Society?
Interviewees' 'phones
Ringing during live news spots
The Interrupti
or do you prefer
Dan Brown
Would let witches drown
Before breaking the vow of secrecy
Surrounding the Interrupti
Ringing during live news spots
The Interrupti
or do you prefer
Dan Brown
Would let witches drown
Before breaking the vow of secrecy
Surrounding the Interrupti
16.11.16
ADM Arleigh A. Burke
Admiral Arleigh Albert Burke
Never learned to twerk.
But his Nassau Gyrations
Fascinated the men of two nations.
Never learned to twerk.
But his Nassau Gyrations
Fascinated the men of two nations.
credit: Wikipedia
12.11.16
Vegans
If men are from Mars
And women from Venus, who's
From Alpha Lyrae?
And women from Venus, who's
From Alpha Lyrae?
© Norton's Star Atlas, Sixteenth Edition, 1973
10.11.16
Jaques queues
Émile Zola,
When offered cola,
Demurred as soda
Burp made him like Yoda.
When offered cola,
Demurred as soda
Burp made him like Yoda.
credit: wikipedia
8.11.16
1.11.16
28.10.16
26.10.16
Poles apart
Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton
Enjoyed a bad pun.
But he went to the ends of the Earth
To give irony a wide berth.
Enjoyed a bad pun.
But he went to the ends of the Earth
To give irony a wide berth.
credit: Wikipedia
Or perhaps you prefer
Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton,
Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton,
Like a gag writer, enjoyed the odd pun.
But he went to the ends of the Earth
To give simile a wide berth.
But he went to the ends of the Earth
To give simile a wide berth.
Or even
Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton
Enjoyed a bad pun.
But he went to the ends of the Earth
To give hyperbole the widest possible berth.
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