Non-inertial Tragic Stories

Neil Armstrong and Gene Cernan,
To the Moon, First and Last Man.
Their new mission, to oldly go
Same way as Unnamed Crewman 'Nemo'.

A Golden Field of Daft Idylls

In horror movies

The worst of the dinosaurs

The terror dactyl

Sossages!

Brauchen Sie Rezept,
Wurst im Bier zu kochen?
Erst, sauft das Bier...

Or do you prefer

Need a recipe
To poach sausages in beer?
Step one: quaff the beer...

credit: Takeaway

Summa Cum Laude

Would Anne Bancroft
Have kept a student in her loft?
If his major was mating,
He'd have kept on graduating?

Having your cake and eating it

The bride was joyful;
The bride's mother was mournful,
The cake was in tiers.

That Bozo Bojo

Boris Johnson
Finds being Foreign Secretary no fun,
Derided by his boss for lack of stature 
With hair in urgent need of a Thatcher.

Or do you prefer:

Theresa May'd
Gladly have ordered Boris flayed,
But his "punishment beatings" blooper
Put him "first in line" for a week in the cooler.

Accidental Emergency

Calm reassurance
From, past fatigue, a doctor's
Competent manner

Complain to Portnoy

Blushing Hollywood
"A Laurie has shed its load"
British star's climax

Yawning Chasm? Or Chiasm, Yawn?

Dorothy Parker.
Could she have been sarcasticer?
Though too fucking busier still,
That yawning chiasmus to fill.

Thanks to Mark Forsyth (via Jeanette James) for the inspiration if not the implementation.

Year of the Rooster

As Trump takes power
Chinese mark the Rooster's Year
Chicks come home to roost