Don't be vaig...

General Douglas Haig
Generally bathed in Laphroaig;
The bottle with the dimples,
He reserved to soak his pimples.

"Winds Gay Force 7 strengthening to 9"

"Pink sky greets morning?
Expect renewed flood warning"
-- UKIP Weatherman

Tales from the Blood Bank

A lady named Mrs Barrett
Might've welcomed a talking parrot
Looking behind her at the appointments screen
If it could also read, it'd earn the right to preen.

For whom do rooms wait?

In the waiting room
Human contact established
With neck crick warning

For what do rooms wait?

In the waiting room
Musak soothes the angstvoll breast
Notably calming