Bitter disappointment

Two fit young women
Order two pints of lager
And one Butcombe beer?

Sung in vivo

Sudden Opera
It's not over until the
Pregnant ladies sing



On being speedily invited to the English Touring Opera's performance of the Coronation of Poppea at the Theatre Royal, Bath... I wonder what it's like for a young foetus when your mum-to-be spends her evenings singing, as did the artists playing Poppea and Drusilla in last night's excellent performance.

Alas an alias?

Engelbert Rodrigo
Has to be an alias, bro!
The French Foreign Legion requires a nom de guerre;
The Danish merchant navy a nom en mer?

It never reigns but it paws

Flavius Belisarius
Had every reason to cuss;
Blinded, cuckolded, footsore; stripped of his triumphal palms.
And now a sodding tin denarius passed in his alms!

On the telly

Professional Darts
Well lubricated; the Proof?
One Hundred Eighty!!

But haven't we already paid for it?

Bosom-locked secrets
Of Nature revealed by Man
In Nature reveiled

The Joy of Science

Bosom-locked secrets
Of Nature unveiled by Man
In nature undreamt

It's a Dog's life

Old man in a pub
A pint and a newspaper
His dog at his feet

or do you prefer

Dog marks time's passing
A pint and a bluespaper
Old man in a pub

Craig's List

Daniel Craig's list
Of things Bond does when pissed
Fascinated spies,
And sparked a run on mince pies...

The Experience

Jimi Hendrix
Could make music with just two sticks.
With a guitar,
He was better by far.

The view from Guildford

The desolate North
No good schools or restaurants
Needs a good fracking

Comic Genius

Iain Duncan Smith
Caught a Bash Street Kid with a spliff.
By Jove!
Wait until I tell Gove!

Enemies can't hurt you like friends can (4)

Rely on your strengths
The weaknesses of others
Are not your problem

Enemies can't hurt you like friends can (3)

Should you balance your
Need to forgive with your wish
To first get them back?

or do you prefer

Should you balance your
Wish to forgive with your need
to protect your heart?

Enemies can't hurt you like friends can (2)

Unexpected sight
Erstwhile friend then betrayer
To forgive is... pants

Enemies can't hurt you like friends can (1)

Why did no-one say
To forgive is to beget
Future betrayal