Are Diamonds forever?

Bank boss Diamond
Will he fall on his own sword?
Or feign ignorance?

Small comfort for Enguland

Stats show Italy
took twice the passes of England
to score zero goals

WMDs

A woman's Weapons
of Mass Distribution are
stiletto heeled shoes


inspired by this (posted on Twitter by @JoannaCannon)

A punnet of forbidden fruit

Beautiful temptress
to dance with you would waken
slumbering passions

Last of the Summer Pinta

Heartbroken tortoise
crawled his island end to end
Lonesome George has died


RIP the last of his sub-species of Chelonoidis Nigra on the Galapagos island of Pinta.

Wasps' nest

Beautiful structure
of regular hexagons
recycled paper.

The National E-Mail Archive?

Poor Historian:
What insights of government
Run by tweet and text?

Educashun Secretary #FAIL

If words don't exist
how can Gove say how they're spelt?
His Phonics test's plapp!

"Jackdaws to automatic"

Corvid steals ducks' bread
Takes slow flight with beak stuffed full
at Max Take-Off Weight.


inspired by behaviour exemplified by this image.

Caveat Emptyer

Bomb Squad van sticker:
"NO BOMBS LEFT IN VEHICLE
OVERNIGHT" it read.

Mexican Stand-off

President Cristina Kirchner
moonlights as a mail deliverer.
"David Cameron, las Malvinas" crossed through;
"Try Falkland Islands" scrawled in blue.

Lady in weightin'

Pale washed denim sky
'ttendant Moon holds tummy in
Harbinger of dawn

Ballet for Blokes

Jason Statham
slayed 'em.
Transporter
but not da 'Beam Me Up Scotty' sorta.

The Selfish Meme

'tis not the tweeters
but tweets that live eternal;
i-DNA threads.

Haiku-Free Zone

Hippies and Poets
unwelcome at Larkhall Inn;
a Haiku-free zone.

Raising one's spirits

Weights & Measures Act
Pub Gin Rum Vodka Whisky
Twenty Five Litres

Writer's Block

Writing a Haiku
in the Larkhall Inn's too hard:
no poetry rules.

Gas! Gas! Gas!

Takeaway curry
Spiced punch under double seal
Biohazard tamed

What special relationship?

Philip Hammond,

fearing his large organ moribund,

when asked 'Defence or Defense?',

sat on the fence.

Judge rules Jay-stalking not inadmissable

The Lord Justice Leveson
was not averse to a pun.
His QC, Robert Jay,
preferred word play.

The Leveson Soap (aka Westenders)

Fred Michel
texted Spads pell mell.
Not one of the Mitchell bruvvers,
he left "veiled threats" to others.

The Truth for the Hunt

Jeremy Hunt
gave quasi-judging a punt.
Quasi-judicial he thought easy;
Queasy-judicial he made look sleazy.

A poker player on BBC Question Time

Victoria Coren

keeps her chips in a sporran;

plays her cards close to her chest,

except at Dimbleby's behest.

Fantasy Fodder - Dessert Course #2

Sublime lemon zest
Sublemonal zest of lime
Yellow Snow Cheesecake


More virtual victuals...